Welcome to the beautiful holiday season that brings both unfiltered joy and a heap load of stress. This season is built upon good feelings and positivity, but often times it is the source of deep stress for many individuals. Oftentimes around the holidays it is not uncommon to hear family members, friends, or strangers in the retail stores talking about how stressed and overwhelmed individuals are leading up to the holidays. Why do we get so stressed out about a season that is suppose to be filled with laughter, joy, and togetherness?
Spreading Ourselves Too Thin
We are no stranger to knowing that the holiday season is often the season of too many overwhelming experiences. Too many stressing factors can really make us feel like we are spreading ourselves too thin. Even if they are fun activities it’s easy to feel like we are drowning in parties, social gatherings, expectation, and pleasing our peers with our gift giving skills. Too often holiday stress leaves us feeling drained, rather than joyful.
Over Indulgence
With excessive gift gifting, shopping trips, pot lucks, alcohol and holiday dinners, it truly is the season of excess. Overindulging in our calories and over indulging in our credit cards can feel great in the moment, but often lead to regret of what we ate or spent. The consequences can be hard to cope with. It’s too easy to over spend when you’re in the holiday spirit, wanting to get gifts for everyone, and putting on those now form-fitting jeans that were baggy on you before Thanksgiving. Last month’s joy can become this month’s dooming consequences. Don’t let carrying debt become your new holiday tradition.
Too Much of a Good Thing: Family
Yes, we all know it’s true. The people we love the most are often times the people who can drive us insane the easiest and fastest… family. Don’t get me wrong, family is the most wonderful, beautiful gift that many of us are fortunate to experience and something we are all guilty of taking advantage of. Overdosing on family and quality time can often lead to friction and unhealthy boundaries. We all need a breather; don’t feel guilty for taking a “time out” from the party, skipping the third family dinner of the week, or not staying longer than you’re comfortable with. Creating a healthy balance starts with you. If you have been assigned a role by your family, don’t be scared to break the expectation. Your family may depend on you for cooking the Christmas ham every year, but this year you may just be too tired. Communicate with your family if you can’t fulfill set expectations. Take care of yourself first.
Prioritize
What tradition and events are the most important to you? Do you have any that bring you the most positive impact? If you do, eliminate the tasks and activities that bring you more stress than happiness. If you don’t enjoy sending Christmas cards, give everyone of importance a call instead. If you just can’t make the flight to see extended family, let them know. Eliminate tasks that will leave you feeling tired and empty after the holidays. Find the few you really enjoy and pour yourself into them. You can’t pour from an empty cup, you can only give what you have within.
Eating Smart
Luckily, we can say that most holiday stress is extremely predictable and almost expected. Unlike many other negative attributes and factors in our lives, we know that once January 2nd comes around the holiday stress will nearly be over. However, when we overindulge with food, that’s a stressor that can stick with us for the next couple of months. Many traditions are tied up in delicious food, so it’s understandable why that extra holiday weight latches onto the best of us. In addition to tradition, the emotional stress alone can drive us to indulge in our most unhealthy eating habits. Plan ahead this year! Be aware of your triggers, keep some healthy snacks, practice mindful eating, and portion the unhealthy indulgences.
Expectations
Remember that we said earlier that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Be aware of your boundaries and limitations when it comes to what’s expected of you. You’re allowed to limit the amount of social engagements you attend or throw. You are also allowed to limit the amount of time you spend at these engagements. Wouldn’t it be great if you could experience family, friends, and the joyous holiday without feeling drained?
If you’re coping with loss or loneliness, consider reading our Grief During the Holidays blog to learn how to deal with expectations. In addition to this, if you’re experiencing loneliness but are wanting to avoid the expectations, consider inviting friends and family into your own home to avoid the stressors of venturing out.
Scheduling
Pull out that old pen and paper and ditch the digital list. Have something tangible to write your plans and schedule down on that you can refer to. Holidays can be go-go-go and it’s easy to have plans fall to the wayside, or forget the date of your work’s potluck. Write important dates, names of those who you still need to buy gifts for, and a grocery shopping list (don’t forget your healthy snacks). Creating a schedule will also show you if you’re stretching yourself too thin. It can really put things into perspective when you have your schedule in your face. Maybe ditch one of your twelve holiday parties and plan a coffee date with yourself.
Relax
No brainer, right? Sometimes it’s too easy to forget this part. At the end of the day its about love and joy. If you aren’t feeling happy then it’s time to change the factors involved. We shouldn’t be spending months recouping from the holiday season. Take 20 minutes to sit by yourself once you start feeling overwhelmed, and reflect on the factors that are making you feel this way. Reduce your negative feelings surrounding the holidays. Recenter and focus on the joy that surrounds you.
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